Hunting for the perfect meat item

Hunting for the perfect meat item

Some things don’t change in fifty thousand years:  you’ve gotten the call that there will be guests tonight and meat must be obtained.  For high speed hunting and gathering, there is only one place that will work – Mert’s!  With a plan you can be in and out in five minutes.

You pull into the lot, grateful that the human race no longer needs to obtain its meat with the aid of a sharp stick, so you can leave it in the trunk.

Entering, you are greeted and you quickly explain your hunting needs while gathering a few vegetables.

The folks behind the counter quickly agree upon choice of tonight’s prey:  the flat iron steak.

It looks primal enough, but how do you cook it?  Three minutes on each side for medium rare.  That’s it.  No marinating.  Done!  With boneless meat, a half pound per person is a good portion, but let’s go a little heavy.  Whether or not your tokens are paper or plastics means little, the transaction is complete and you quickly make your way to the car.

Arriving home, you see that a few of your guests are already there waiting, but you are not worried.  You’ve got this.

All you need to do in the kitchen is unwrap the steaks, dust them with rub (I use Montreal blend from McCormicks) and rewrap it to hold in the spices and to save a dish, while asking what refreshments your guests want.

After serving them a quick retreat to the fire pit of choice to prepare the coals, which will leave you with a good hour to socialize and re-establish tribal or inter-tribal bonds, as everyone is mesmerized by the fire you’ve made.

Then the heart of the matter – the flat irons are carried to the fire, still in their butcher paper, still a total mystery, until the magic moment when they are cast upon the grate.  There will always be a few guests who have never seen the primal flat iron.  The stop watch is ticking.  Three minutes on a side, no more . . .

Then the steaks are quickly plated and taken back to the kitchen to rest for, let’s say, three minutes for simplicity, or, the time it takes you to dump out a box of salad greens, slice up a tomato and drain a jar of artichoke hearts, some tongs, some dressing, and there is your resting time – you are a genius!

“What’s the movie tonight?”, somebody asks as you plate up the meal for your guests.  “I was thinking Quest For Fire” as you plan to bring up in conversation your pet theory that the discovery of cooking was the result of a forest fire.

Warning:  Time Travel may result in a sharp increase in appetite!

by Alan Coe

 

 

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